Leia and your Ego don’t agree…

What feels heavy? What feels light?

On my morning call with my brother yesterday, I told him how I’ve been struggling to feel motivated. I’ve been down and it’s been hard for me to be happy, excited, & engaged.

My to-do list feels sludgy.

My to-be list feels unattainable.

How can I finish writing a book about BEING THE PLAN in one’s own life when I can’t even be the plan in my own?!

If my tips and tricks don’t work for me today at this moment (and in every single second of every single day), why would I even finish the damn book and share insights with others? If I can’t put a “better” spin on the things that Brene Brown, Mel Robbins, and Glennon Doyle say…why am I writing at all?

I didn’t share that entire doom spiral with my brother…but he did point out that I needed to show up for myself so I could show up for others. He also told me to not just “push-through” to complete the things on my to-do list that feel like drudgery.

My own advice coming back to me.

I found myself saying, “I know.”

And then I laughed.

Because WE ALL KNOW.

We are all our own best medicine to what ails us.

The point of this story isn’t to talk about advice and what we all know…or don’t know.

The point is Resistance.

We are all our own cure, yes and…

We are also masterfully skilled at resisting our own help, and the help of others.

Think about a time you’ve said “I know” in response to someone else’s advice or to something you’ve seen online.

I don’t know about what happens for you, but for me, here is what’s actually happening when I say it:

First, my ego dismisses the statement because it likes to be right and to feel important. It wants to be smart and worldly and to not take into consideration what it already knows thank-you-very-much.

Then, Judgment kicks in.

“So, Michelle, if you already know this, then why the hell is it bothering you? Why aren’t you able to do what you need to do? What is actually wrong with you? I thought you knew this already…”

and so on and so forth.

And finally, The Resistance shows up. And not in a badass Leia kind of way, but in the kind of way that helps me avoid the uncomfortable space that I find myself. Now I want to check my phone, space out, busy myself with something else, or force myself to meditate to try and clear my mood.

(side note: meditation with goal-based outcomes is NOT meditation)

Just so I can slip both Star Wars and Star Trek into the same story, I’ll point out that resistance is futile.

But that doesn’t mean we have to assimilate.

What it does mean, however, is that we have to notice what we’re feeling rather than thinking we already know.

I know there is nothing new under the sun and that I don't need to have different insights than the famous trailblazers who came before me. We are all expanding because of the work of others.

I also know I am my own best friend & worst enemy. And if I don’t stop to notice what I feel, I’ll continue to push through and distract myself in perpetuity & end up missing my whole life.

We all will.

And I’m not here for that.

If you aren’t either, here’s an exercise for you to help notice what you think and what you feel. It will also help you with those pesky “I know” reactions that keep us all stuck.

The magic isn’t in the knowing, it is in the feeling.

Taking time to feel first allows the things you “know” to become the things you “do.”

And those things become your life.

Xox, Michelle

P.S. Let me know how the exercise goes…

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P.P.S. I dropped a new episode of Be The Plan with a lovely human, Geeta Nadkarni, and it goes nicely with today’s post. After the ep, subscribe to my channel.

P.P.P.S. You are loved and worthy. This I know.

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