No One Cares What We’re Doing

I spent most of my Tuesday naked. Amongst people. In (semi) public.

Dipping in and out of hot & tepid pools, stretching in hot steam rooms, and sprawling in multiple dry saunas - with variegated temperatures and walls lined with everything from Himalayan salt to charcoal to amethyst to ice - eased the bruising from Sunday’s pole dancing class. (side note: grabbing and spinning on a steel bar with your thighs can leave some tender muscles.)

For some people, naked spa and pole dancing experiences are shocking. But if you’ve ever been to Spa World in Northern Virginia or a hammam in the Middle East, or pursued an extreme sport, these activities won’t seem weird. (They are, in fact, quite liberating)

Why do I mention these experiences? To remind you to question what you think you know.

We all operate from our inner scripts. The stories we tell ourselves are super powerful and our innate reactions to everything life throws at us are informed by them.

We’re all made this way because our scripts help us with expediency (like in the coffee line: Americano, splash of half and half) & safety (as when walking a dark path at night: stay in the middle, illuminate if possible, let someone know when home).

The things we know can be good for us. They can also be our biggest obstacle to living fully, authentically, and meaningfully.

The same external experiences and voices that inform how we respond to a friend’s lunch invitation also inform how we act in times of crisis, what we believe about our neighbors, how we speak to ourselves, and how we show up in the world.

When unquestioned, our scripts keep us stuck in our comfort zone and in a fixed mindset.

A decade ago, the stories I told myself wouldn’t have let me spend a day naked in public (I hated my body). A decade ago, I wouldn’t have believed I’d be embarking on year five of operating a sustainable business (I thought I had no follow-through). A decade ago, my fear of the unknown wouldn’t have allowed me to co-teach a class this month on how our society contemplates and discusses death.

We are never too old, broken, ingrained, lost, helpless, stuck…too anything to question what we think we already know so we can feel more free in life. Today. Not when some mythical external thing happens to ease our lives.

Curiosity, acceptance, forgiveness, peace, and love don’t thrive when limited - and we as humans don’t either.

And, to address the fact that many fear that leaving their comfort zone will open them to the judgment of others, I offer this: If we spend our lives always thinking of what others would say if we dared to be ourselves, we’d miss our entire human experience.

No one cares if we’re naked. No one cares how we live if we’re not harming others in the process. Those preoccupied with our activities have their own fear, shame, and guilt to tend.

Do you have a limit you’d like to explore? Pause & ponder these questions to start to rescript that story:

What is currently blocking you from feeling free and peaceful? What feels hard?

How is your mindset on this topic serving you? Is it keeping you safe from exploring new options? How is it limiting you?

What would you do differently about this situation if no one cared what you were doing?

At the end of today, how would you like to feel about this situation? What small step can you take today to claim that feeling?

See you in the pools,

Michelle

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I write thoughtful, story-led blogs like this a few times per month that subscribers call "inspirational," "resonant," and "just wow." Sign up here.

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