Mind the Gap: You Are Here
I got a lot of responses to my last email (I call these missives “The Message”) about the liminal space that we all find ourselves in at some point in our lives: the gap between who we were and who we are becoming. (Missed part 1? See it here.)
People wrote me that they’re furloughed, pivoting their business, experiencing physical and mental health challenges, going through divorces, grieving the loss of someone close to them, and facing the aftermath of a death.
From one person in this community, “You put words to something I’ve been going through since leaving my last role…”
Also, many of you wrote a version of this: “I don’t know what (in the actual eff) to do to navigate this gap.”
The good news is that there’s no perfect way to do so. The harder news is that often, finding our own personal way is the challenge.
Intellectually, we know we have to go through the ick to grieve and grow. We also have a big tendency to resist doing so. (I say “we” looking at me )
Resistance looks like a lot of things, but it often looks like perpetually working to problem-solve and “figure things out” to bypass the discomfort of not knowing.
However, if we stop looking at the gap as a problem to solve and instead as a space to be in, we gain deeper insight into our patterns, our stories, and our next steps.
No matter what gaps we’re navigating, I believe that most humans want to feel secure, well, peaceful, connected, seen, heard, loved, encouraged, engaged, supported, and creative. Most of us want that for our communities and society, too.
We can't get to those things by skipping the reflection time (and the discomfort) that the gap offers us.
You can't rush to certainty and expect to find your authentic self.
You can't numb your way through change and arrive whole on the other side.
You can't stay so busy that you never have to feel the loss, and somehow emerge clear about what you actually want.
The gap isn't the detour; it's the path.
When we resist the urge to immediately fill whatever voids we have with a new identity, role, or certainty about who we're supposed to be next, we start to hear ourselves again.
We start to BE ourselves again.
We start to TRUST ourselves again.
We RETURN to who we are underneath all the external BS.
These points came out loud and clear last week when I presented at the UMW Women’s Leadership Colloquium on the topic of “Finding and Using Your Authentic Voice.”
We discussed how we thought we should show up in the world and who we should be. Our shoulds are made up of inherited stories, borrowed certainties put on us by others, and the performed identities that are normalized in our societal systems. (looking at YOU, Corporate America )
Finding our voice — and our next steps — comes from MINDING THE GAP and being aware of where we are instead of rushing through.
This doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't happen without discomfort. It happens when we stop treating the gap like an emergency to escape and start treating it like information to help us grow.
It will be uncomfortable, but it will be worth it.
Next time, I’ll talk more about the actionable tactics that helped me. I’ve talked about some on my blog here and here, but will dive deeper soon.
I’ll leave you with this:
The world needs more people who can sit with themselves in uncertainty without running.
That's how we become who we're meant to be.
xox, Michelle
P.S. One of my clients recently told me: "I thought I hired you to help me figure out what's next. What I didn't realize is that you'd help me learn how to be okay with not knowing yet. That's been the real gift." Want to coach with me? Let’s chat.
P.P.S. I’m excited to speak at CreativeMornings/Richmond next week on the topic of GROWTH! Come see me if you’re in town. Tickets go live Monday morning at 8:04am. Don’t @ me if you miss them — I’m not the Host anymore, so there’s not much I can do. It’s our 10th birthday and tickets will go fast, so set an alarm!
Presenting Last Week At The Women’s Leadership Colloquium. I teach immersive, impactful workshops and courses for organizations globally, like Amazon and the American College of Cardiology, and locally, like NAWBO Richmond and the Virginia Society of CPAs. Hire me to speak in 2026!
Want to explore how to work together?
I do identity work. Whether you are looking to rediscover who you are now, realign and strategize a way forward, or want to reclaim your voice and show up in the world, I can help. While I focus on life strategy and navigation using everything from human design, tarot, and 1:1 coaching, I also support personal brand voice discovery and content writing. Seek yourself. Be more you.
Everything touches. I am here to support you in making meaningful progress to live more freely & fully.
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Be who you are. Lead with curiosity & love. The world will respond.
