The Catalyst Is Quick
The Aftermath…not so much.
I did a thing today. It was something that has been on my to-do list for 11 months now. It took roughly 7 minutes.
After nearly a year of a business partnership being declared “defunct,” I finally got everything off our shared drive, wiped our email account, and shut it down. Tomorrow, when the monthly subscription comes due, the fee will not show up on my credit card.
It’s a small win in a big sea of things that I have to get done.
Undoing takes time, often more than doing a thing. Yes, sometimes the change happens in a singular instant: a business suffering a catastrophic setback, a crash that crumples the front of a car, a partner that leaves a relationship that is no longer serving them… or the big change when a loved one moves on through death.
Big events often feel quick and sudden, whether we’ve “prepared” for them or the transition blindsided us.
The catalyst is quick. The aftermath is not.
Undoing something is greater than the actions that we must take to bring a situation to a close. We think of our wrap-up items as a to-do list: do this thing first, then the next, then this thing that popped up over here, and then the next thing until we’re finally done. Thinking this way is tricky though, because we are pre-conditioned to think that once something is over it should already be complete. And, if it’s over, then WHY THE F*CK DO I STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT?
A better way I’ve found for me is to treat undoing the same way as I treat building something new. There is a catalyst, something that throws us into a process that is about to take us on a journey. We may predict the milestones along the way, but inevitably we will be taken off course, turned around three times, and end up on the scenic route that brings us more mysteries and more adventures as the road unfolds.
Undoing things is both an external process and an internal one.
While it’s hard to put patience, support, and grief on a to-do list because they can’t just be “checked-off,” it is ok to build structures within your day for reflection, mental rest, gratitude, and peace. In fact, it is essential. If we don’t, we’ll miss our whole life feeling rushed, exhausted, depleted, and like nothing is ever enough.
Today, I’m grateful to mark that one task complete. When I put it on my list, it seemed simple. Perhaps it didn’t get done until today because even though my brain knew it had to happen, my heart wasn’t ready for it.
I invite you to pause now.
How will you live a better story?
How will you build peace into your day?
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